Path to Redemption
by Shannon C. Redfield
Summary: Takes place immediately after Star Wars: Secrets of the Jedi, by Jude Watson. First-person view of Padawan ObiWan Kenobi.


This short "story" takes place immediately after Star Wars: Secrets of the Jedi when a young Obi-Wan Kenobi is torn from his love, fellow Padawan Siri Tachi. In my own view, this is what he is thinking in first-person perspective when she leaves him in the Room of a Thousand Fountains at the Jedi Temple.

This is my first entry. I do not own the rights to Star Wars or its characters. George Lucas should be proud that he has many fellow Padawans and Knights under his wing. With so much imagination to give to us fellow Jedi's, I am proud to be a fellow Padawan.

Enjoy!

_The room felt so cold, so heavy._

_Every breath I took was like a struggle for air. My lungs burned and my heart flared like raging fire. How could this have happened? How, within these very sanctified walls, could my slowly beating yet dying heart break in two?_

_Siri… Why is she leaving? Is she coming back? Is she coming back to tell me that she's changed her mind? That we can forget this "pact" that we made, and I can go back on my promise?_

_Will be finally be together?_

_My mind reeled. Of course she is not! The Council forbids _any_ Padawan to encourage increasing personal attachment. Qui-Gon nearly warned me about such feelings, such false hope. Was I so blind about my own personal attachment, that I could not see the true punishment of giving up the one person I love more then life?_

_Must heartbreak be that lesson?_

_My deep breathing increased. The ache in my heart and soul was overwhelming. With a painful staggering sob, I allowed for weakness to fill my being and dropped down to my knees. Never have I felt such heartbreak threaten to tear my spirit apart. I arched my back and screamed out in defiance. Already I could feel the dark side beckoning as my cry went out in loud echoes. Hot tears stung my eyes and streamed down my face. This room was a disgrace—the whole Order was! How could Master Qui-Gon and Master Yoda be so blind?_

_Could a Jedi, even a Padawan, ever bear as much pain and suffering as I am this very moment? Could even a Council member thrive on the fact that even though they still have my loyalty, was it really worth the cost of my heart breaking? I could not come to understand such logic._

_At last I have stopped screaming. My heart is done bleeding and has resumed its normal, musical beat. My vision is returning and once again the beauty of the Room of a Thousand Fountains has greeted me. My echoes die out and soon the only sound I can hear is the soft rush of the nearby waterfall. The Force, as quiet as it was, barely even touched me._

_My moment has passed. Reality makes it way back into my life. Siri is not coming back. She made that perfectly clear when she took off and left me here to deal with my feelings alone. I glanced down that path that she took. One that I wish we had taken together. Instead of seeing the road that should have been, I see a path that will lead to my redemption. Try as I might, this day will forever burn into my memory._

_There is a slight tremor in the Force._

_Qui-Gon. He is calling me. He has heard my cry of pain and is rushing to be by my side. I am grateful that he is my master and that I am his apprentice. His face and body are within view. _

…_something isn't right. His expression is of deep concern. He yells of something inaudible. I cannot make out the words in which he speaks. I am at a loss._

_My body is getting cold. The spray of water from the waterfall has been replaced with sweat. My hands are trembling and my lungs tighten. I begin to feel sick, and once again my vision is clouded. Darkness is calling me. _

_I start to waver…_

_The last thing that happens before my body slumps completely to the cool ground is my master catching me and calling my name. My body could no longer handle the pressure that was bestowed on it this day. Not even my master's touch as he cradles me in his strong arms could wake me from the sleep that followed._

_I am tired._

_But I am not alone._

_I close my eyes and allow my being to fall into the healing meditation it needs to prepare for my path to redemption. I will become a Jedi knight. My master will be there for the day when I complete my time of the trials, and thus my training will be complete._

…_not even Siri can stop me._

_My eyes are fluttering closed…the room and its sounds are fading away…_

_May the Force be with me…_


End file.
